In the past week most colleges have started up again...woo hoo. With this jarring return to reality, I'm a sophomore this year, I'm once again faced with the weird feeling that I should probably be more put together than I am. I feel like most people my have a sense of what a "normal" 20 year old's responsibilities are. These may include: paying your own bills, having a firm grasp on who you are as a person, and knowing how to articulate your opinion and purpose. Now if I think about these things I get a mixed feeling.
I do pay my own bills but I still don't feel like I do, surely I'm not actually in charge of my entire livelihood and if I'm not on top of things I could lose lights, water or (gasp) wifi! I certainly don't feel like I should be put in charge of all of these things even though I am.
When it comes to knowing who I am I know that I am lacking. I know that I'm sassy and like to think that I'm witty but outside of that it's kind of a blur of however I need to be perceived in a situation (being a personality chameleon is a topic for a different time).
For the last "responsibility" I like to think that I can concisely articulate my point, I am a journalism major it's kind of my job, but there will always be people that I just can't explain myself to for whatever reason.
Ultimately, I feel that every person, not matter what their age or occupation, can't be put in a cookie cutter maturity level. We all have things that make us giggle at inappropriate times or that we just can't wrap our heads around. You certainly meet a wide array of these people on this spectrum at college but I like to believe that it's true even when you're 50 years old.
So please remember, if you are embarrassed about not being up to the level you think you should be, STOP. There is no one, I repeat, absolutely NO ONE, that has their entire life together in every given situation. Just try your best and fake it til you make it!
Stay beautiful,
Toto
