Commit don't quit

I found something on Pinterest (surprise, surprise) that I wanted to share with you.

"Note to self:

I am allowed to cry. 

I am allowed to scream. 

But, I am not allowed to give up.

It will all get done somehow.

Just breathe."

I just wanted to stop in and say this to remind myself and everyone else who reads this blog that no matter what obstacles you are facing in your life right now they are only temporary. That test will pass, that bill will get paid, that uncomfortable conversation will eventually happen. It will all be easier if you keep as clear a head as possible. Do whatever you need to to keep yourself sane even if that is crying and screaming but just know that you have never failed something until you stop trying. I hope that helps you continue on in whatever is hard in your life right now. 

Stay beautiful,

Toto 

Destress, You Hot Mess!

So this week I have been very stressed because the life of a 20-year-old in college is, by nature, stressful. Now this is not the first, nor will it be the last time that I am stressed (I'll probably be stressed next week too). But, I have some things that I do when I'm stressed that help to curb the insanity a little bit and I hope they can help you the next time you feel like you have to scale Mount Everest in the next hour.

1.  Make a physical list (I'm obviously a fan of lists) of things you have to get done today. I have three digital post-it notes that are on my desktop screen at all times. One says "to do today", the second says "to do tomorrow" and the last one is just for stuff I need to be aware is coming up this week. Having what you need to do actually written down in front of me makes me feel like it's really not as much as I think. Also, theres's nothing more satisfying than deleting or crossing something off of a list once it's done.
2.  If what you have to get done is something on your computer or in a notebook, get out of your house to do it. I live with four girls but they aren't the reason that I never get anything done at home. When you're around all of your stuff you can always find something else to do besides what you actually have to do. I've done everything from making a snack every 10 minutes to cleaning the whole house (I frequently turn to that). If you're sitting outside or at some coffee shop you don't have the option of doing other things. 
3.  Do something physical. If you are just at the point that you are ready to punch the next person you talk to you should probably get that energy out before you start on the work you have. My favorite story of physically relieving stress was a time that my roommate was stressed out of her mind. So, to fix that, we took a tennis racket and some slightly rotten apples and took them to our backyard. I pitched them to her while she swung with all of her might. It was incredibly cathartic. 
4. Play some music. Now I don't mean any rock or punk because that's not going to help you relax. I personally listen to Sara Bareilles or Regina Spektor but I also know other people who just listen to classical music. I just honestly can't get work done in completely silence and music helps me focus. It also tends to be very soothing depending on which music you pick.

I hope these tips help you the next time you're about ready to pull your hair out. Honestly just think of it day to day and it isn't that bad.... I hope. 

Stay beautiful,

Toto

Be Cyber Safe

So something that is a hot topic in the world we live in is cyber bullying and the dangers of anonymity online. I haven't experienced cyber bullying (in explicit terms) personally but many people that I know have and recently an organization that I'm involved in was talked about on an anonymous site. Basically, there were things, good and bad, said about this group and there was very little we could do about it because we can't control what people type into their phones. I just want to say that I think anonymous apps (like Yik Yak and even Twitter) can be very dangerous and should be handled very carefully. Even though apps like Facebook and Twitter have a profile of the person operating the account, none of the information has to be true. It just gives people so much power over others. Now, I am also a journalist and these online sites are kind of my life, so how do we cut out the good form the bad? There isn't any clear answer that I can think of. These are a few things that I think are very important when using any of these sites.

1. Unless it is your professional account, make it private. I have a number of personal and professional accounts and a lot of my stuff is private. It's not that I have things on there that I don't want seen, I'm under no delusion that private really means private on the internet. But it does mean that, normally, people can't comment on any of your stuff. Also, if people are just looking for anyone to be mean to and they see they would have to work to get to you, they normally move on. 
2. REPORT EVERYTHING! I cannot stress this enough. I have known people that have been getting messages or things that are strange or threatening or damaging and haven't done anything about them. You should never reply and you should always report. Pretty much every major app company has a policy in place to remove accounts. But, you have to do your part. There is no way that Facebook can find every mean thing ever typed on its site but that doesn't mean that they don't care. Also, replying just encourages their behavior even if you ask them to stop. 
3. If you are a parent with younger children (think middle school or lower high school) you should probably try to keep an eye on their accounts. I am in no way encouraging snooping or spying on your kids, that is a horrible invasive thing to do. But if you are respectful and don't comment on every single status update and stalk all of their friends, more than likely they will be fine with letting you follow them or be their friend. I personally don't really like my friends parents following me on sites if I don't know the parent very well just because I feel judged but I don't care at all about my own mom (but I am 20 so....). 

Basically my point is if you are in a situation that is bad, tell someone and limit as much access others have to you as you can. If you want to watch a great movie that ABC Family made about cyber bullying check out Cyberbully with Emily Osment, it really describes what a lot of kids go through with cyber bullying. Also, please please please be smart about what you post. I don't care if you are over 21, that drunk picture is not as cute as you think it is. I promise. 

Stay beautiful,

Toto