Relationship Rant

I want to comment on this cultural stigma that I feel around serious dating in college and high school. I personally have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since 7th grade. We have taken a few short breaks but essentially have been together for almost 7 years. Now every time I meet someone and tell them this they have one of two reactions: But haven't you ever wanted to date someone else? How are you sure? or Then why aren't you married yet? Now both of these reactions really bother me and I'll tell you why.

Because of how young I was when I started dating my boyfriend, since about the second year I have heard from a lot of people it's in my "best interest" to date other people because it's "not healthy" to only date one person even if you're happy with them. Hearing this for years has sometimes even hurt our relationship. I am the type of person that will immediately leave a situation if I'm not happy. I don't have time to be unhappy. But hearing that there was something wrong with my relationship really messed with my head for years and led to the two break ups that we have had. What happened both times was I freaked out and ran away because I thought that this was not normal so there must be something wrong with it. In both of those break ups I hung out with but never dated other guys and always came to the conclusion that I really just wanted my boyfriend back. But people's opinions made me second guess what I felt and that's not right.

The question Why aren't you married yet? also really bothers me. Like I said before, I'm happy, why would I change anything. My boyfriend and I are still both young and figuring things out about ourselves every day. Also, we don't live in the same town currently and are on very different paths in our lives. But we still love each other and are making it work. We will probably get married younger than most people my age but that doesn't mean that once you have been dating for a certain number of years you have to get married.

My whole problem with people inserting themselves into my relationship is that they're doing just that, butting in where they don't belong. Now if this was only my family who did this it wouldn't be a problem, I ask for their opinion and they know both of us very well. But my family aren't the people saying this, it's people who don't know our history and really don't have any business trying to fit my relationship on a timeline that makes them more comfortable.

I'm not saying that my relationship is perfect, we have grown a lot over the years and made some stupid decisions. I know this was a rant but it's something that I've been thinking about a lot with some of my close friends getting into more serious relationships. I just really want people to be happy for others and accept other people's lives and decisions.

Stay beautiful,
Toto

Fall fantasies

We are getting to my absolute favorite time of year! It's the part of the year when you get a chill when you walk out of your house in the morning but you don't yet curse whatever Satan that created the cold. It's fall, people! Now fall in Austin, Texas is a very different experience than pretty much any other state or country. We don't even get below 70 degrees until November and it lasts for a very short amount of time because none of our bodies know how to react to temperatures below 40. But for that month I am the happiest person there is! Here are some reasons why fall just makes me happy:

1. Fall fashion! I am at my happiest when I am wearing a sweater, a scarf, and boots. They are just the comfiest things I ever wear. Nothing makes me happier than snuggling up under a ton of layers. Beanies are also the answer to every bad hair day. They are heaven sent.
2. Drinks! I'm the type of person that drinks hot tea, hot chocolate, and hot lattes all year round. This may seem crazy to people in August, but come November everyone is with me! Warm drinks just make me happy inside, especially Chai tea lattes, they are like crack to me. 
3. Holidays! All of the best holidays come with the fall. You have Halloween (free candy, I mean come on), Thanksgiving (I obviously love food), and immediately after that is CHRISTMAS! Which is hands down my favorite holiday. As soon as it's November 1st my roommate and I crank the Christmas carols. 
4. Weather! I live in Texas where up until late October you sweat just by walking outside, let alone walking to campus like I do everyday. Fall weather is a very welcome change to the heat that we experience the majority of the year. 

I didn't really appreciate fall and colder weather until I got older, I mean I am a Texas girl through and through and do love the heat. But all of a sudden I realize that, however brief, Autumn is my favorite season. So I hope that you all go out today in sweaters and scarves and breathe in that crisp fall air and drink a hot beverage for me! 

Stay beautiful,

Toto 

Anti-inspiration

Ok kids, I'm back! Please forgive me for ignoring you all for so long. I've had a crazy schedule that would cause some weaker than I to break down under the pressure, but not me! I just eat a lot of popcorn and try to ignore my responsibilities. It's seemed to work well enough up to this point.
But a lack of time isn't the only thing that has kept me from writing on my beloved blog in a couple of months, it's also a lack of inspiration. I desperately want to be the kind of artsy, thoughtful person that just has these deep, humorous posts flow from them, but I'm not. If I want to write something I have to actively look for a topic that inspires me, I've never just stumbled upon something.
Does this make me a bad writer? Not a true journalist? Not creative?
I like to think not. Just that I need a little bit more of a push to find a topic. I need a different type of thoughtful inspiration.
This has, ironically, inspired me to write this post about not being inspired. I feel like in the creative world, whether it's writing, singing, painting, anything, we are pushed to always be the most original and most inspired. And that pressure can be the only thing that keeps you from reaching your full potential. It's not fair to expect yourself to produce the Mona Lisa or Wuthering Heights (that's my favorite book by the way) on a regular basis or even on your first try. So I hope that if you find yourself having the same problem that I do, you don't feel discouraged. If you aren't inspired you feel stuck just try something new! Instead of trying to paint a landscape just splash some paint on a canvas and see what you can make out of it. Instead of sticking to classical choral music take a break and see if you are any good at rapping. Even if these don't prove to be fruitful experience you'll at least have fun!
I know that most of my posts seem to turn into long thing ways of saying "love yourself!" But that's all I really want any of you to get from my thoughts, just to love who you are.
However, with trying to post more often (maybe even once a week, heaven forbid I post regularly) I'm going to try to make my posts have more variety.
I hope you stick around to see how I'm going to work to evolve my blog, my voice, and myself!

Stay beautiful,
Toto