Relationship Rant

I want to comment on this cultural stigma that I feel around serious dating in college and high school. I personally have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since 7th grade. We have taken a few short breaks but essentially have been together for almost 7 years. Now every time I meet someone and tell them this they have one of two reactions: But haven't you ever wanted to date someone else? How are you sure? or Then why aren't you married yet? Now both of these reactions really bother me and I'll tell you why.

Because of how young I was when I started dating my boyfriend, since about the second year I have heard from a lot of people it's in my "best interest" to date other people because it's "not healthy" to only date one person even if you're happy with them. Hearing this for years has sometimes even hurt our relationship. I am the type of person that will immediately leave a situation if I'm not happy. I don't have time to be unhappy. But hearing that there was something wrong with my relationship really messed with my head for years and led to the two break ups that we have had. What happened both times was I freaked out and ran away because I thought that this was not normal so there must be something wrong with it. In both of those break ups I hung out with but never dated other guys and always came to the conclusion that I really just wanted my boyfriend back. But people's opinions made me second guess what I felt and that's not right.

The question Why aren't you married yet? also really bothers me. Like I said before, I'm happy, why would I change anything. My boyfriend and I are still both young and figuring things out about ourselves every day. Also, we don't live in the same town currently and are on very different paths in our lives. But we still love each other and are making it work. We will probably get married younger than most people my age but that doesn't mean that once you have been dating for a certain number of years you have to get married.

My whole problem with people inserting themselves into my relationship is that they're doing just that, butting in where they don't belong. Now if this was only my family who did this it wouldn't be a problem, I ask for their opinion and they know both of us very well. But my family aren't the people saying this, it's people who don't know our history and really don't have any business trying to fit my relationship on a timeline that makes them more comfortable.

I'm not saying that my relationship is perfect, we have grown a lot over the years and made some stupid decisions. I know this was a rant but it's something that I've been thinking about a lot with some of my close friends getting into more serious relationships. I just really want people to be happy for others and accept other people's lives and decisions.

Stay beautiful,
Toto